All you need is love

Check this great article out. I got it online from the Fatherhood Foundation. www.fatherhood.org.au

10 Things You Can Do To Have aHealthy Marriage It takes work to have a healthy marriage but it is possible. Just like good nutrition and regular exercise can help you have a healthy body, there are things you can do to have a healthy marriage.

Here are 10 Tips you can use to strengthen your marriage:

1) Spend Time with Each Other. Married partners need time with each other in order to grow strong together. Plan regularly scheduled date nights and weekend activities. If a getaway is not immediately possible make it a goal that you will work toward. By spending time with your partner, you will better understand your differences and how to negotiate the problems they may cause.Forget the "quality vs. quantity time" discussion - healthy marriages need both.

2) Learn to Negotiate Conflict. Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. There is a point however when it can increase in intensity and become emotionally and sometimes physically unsafe. Working out problems in a relationship starts with understanding what your issues are and how to discuss them. There are many resources available to help you learn how to deal with conflict. Using these resources can go a long way in preserving how safe you and your partner feel.

3) Show Respect for Each Other at All Times. When a couple fails to respect each other they often slip into negative habits. Research shows that nothing can damage a relationship quicker than criticisms and put - downs. Treating your partner as you would like to be treated will do a lot to strengthen the bond between you. Paying your partner a compliment is a quick and easy way to show them respect. When you are tempted to complain to someone about one of your partner's flaws, ask yourself how you would feel if they did that to you.

4) Learn About Yourself First. Make it a point to work on self discovery. Many partners enter into relationships without knowing enough about themselves. As a result they can also have difficulty learning about their partners. Learning about yourself will better equip you to grow as an individual and a partner. Regardless how long you've been together, there are always more things you can learn about him or her. What are his dreams for the future? What is her worst fear? What is the way he or she best gives or receives love? Imagine the intimacy and bond you will share over a lifetime together if you commit to discovering new things about one another!

5) Explore Intimacy. Marital intimacy can open your relationship to a whole new level of enjoyment and closeness. It is important, however, to remember that intimacy does not always mean sexuality. An often forgotten aspect of intimacy is the emotional type. An example of emotional intimacy is creating a safe space for your partner to share his or her emotions without fear of you being judgmental or making light of them. Learn the difference between emotional and physical intimacy and when each one is most appropriate. Offering your partner one type when they really need the other can create problems in your relationship.

6) Explore Common Interests. Couples thrive when they share similar interests.That doesn't necessarily mean each partner will enjoy every activity but it opens up the opportunity for greater sharing and compromise. Doing things separately is not bad but common interests are important to healthy marriages. A common interest may be cooking or eating new foods together, going for walks or playing cards. The goal is to have something outside of your family that you both enjoy.

7) Create a Spiritual Connection. Many couples grow closer when they share some form of spiritual connection. This can be done in many different ways. For example it may be achieved through an affiliation with a church, synagogue or mosque, through meditation or by simply spending time in nature or intimate conversation.

8) Improve Your Communication Skills. The ability to talk and listen to each other is one key to a healthy marriage. You should never assume your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling. Tell your spouse what is going on - and, as a spouse, know when to simply listen. Learning to really hear your partner is a skill that may require practice. There are many resources available like books, marriage education workshops and online courses. All of these options can help couples learn how to communicate more effectively.

9) Forgive Each Other. If he or she hasn't already, your partner is going to do something that hurts, frustrates or upsets you. Guess what, you are going to do the same thing! Sometimes it might even be on purpose after an argument or misunderstanding. Forgiveness is a tricky but important virtue in a marriage, especially since no one is perfect. Try to allow your partner some room to make a few mistakes because you will also make some of your own. When you make a mistake, act quickly to apologize and fix problems. Doing so will help to encourage forgiveness and strengthen your marriage.

10) Look for the Best in Each Other. When you met your partner, you fell in love with some of his or her wonderful qualities. Over time however, your view of those qualities may have changed. For example, he may have been really good at saving money when you met. Now you just think he's cheap! Give each other the benefit of the doubt and create a list of all the things you love about your partner. It will help you to fall in love all over again!

Taken from the USA website: National Healthy Marriage Resource Centre Thank you to David Jones, a Certified Family Life Educator and author of a variety of relationship tools for fathers, for contributing to this tip sheet.

Disclaimer: These tips are designed to assist couples in improving their relationships however they are not meant to be a substitute for professional help and advice.

That'll do the trick

Breakfast at the Rienecker household can often be defined as "unpredictable routine".

Caleb, 2 begins the day with the term "geetgix" meaning wheatbix and when asked about breakfast Marnie, 4 usually replies "I don't know" and often ends up with cereal or an egg on toast. Juice is always part of the menu for both of them.

A couple of days I asked Marnie what she would like and she gave me her standard reply. I then said "how does an egg on toast sound"? to which she promptly and enthusiastically replied "yeah that'll do the trick".

"That'll do the trick" to me means yeah that works for me, I'm happy with that. As far as breakfast goes we are talking about physical sustenance. They say eggs have good 'saiety' (I hope that's how it's spelt) which means they make you feel fuller for longer.

But what about spiritual or relational sustenance? What about purpose and meaning in life? What about security and significance? What about experiencing the sense that we are making a difference in the world? What makes us feel truly fulfilled?

How long do the things of this world make us feel "fuller" for? Can material gain, success or the acolades of others really do the trick?

Jesus said "I have come that you may have life to the full" John 10:10. How can we experience the deep sustenance that never fades? How can we experience real fulfillment? By trusting in Jesus and the promise that he made.

Now that'll do the trick.

Three powerful words

When was the last time you told that special person you love them? It sure is a great thing to feel loved by someone I'm sure you'd agree. But sometimes the reality of being and feeling loved can be quite different. I know my wife loves me without question but the fact that she reminds me consistently gives me great confidence flowing from that special 'sense' of being loved. We all communicate and experience love in different ways but being reminded verbally of how much we are loved is a real blessing. When we then do things to back up these words the lining of love in the fabric of our relationships just gets stronger and stronger. So go on, tell em you love em. And let that confirmation of committment bind you deeper into the true meaning of love as measured at the cross in our Saviour Jesus Christ who gave his all to give us a glimpse of what real love is all about. Blessings A.

A foundation of grace

Yesterday I was talking to my father-in-law at lunch. He said "I wish I knew then what I know now about being a parent". As a grandfather my father-in-law is the most patient, loving and grace-filled man I could hope for for my kids. So I asked him to give me an example. He said "in the midst of giving kids the reason why and all that, show grace". WOW! I love it.

You know as I was thinking about that later I realised there is a gap between the parent I am now and the parent I want to be. And that gap can be described in five simple letters G.R.A.C.E.

This morning I was trying to get Caleb ready for the day in a real hurry. He started fiddling around and moving all over the bed refusing to keep still while I dressed him. Now right here is my trigger point for frustration. I could feel myself going down that path and then I stopped. I stopped right at the edge of the 'gap'.

Why? Becuase if I'm ever going to be th parent I am asking God to help me be, I need to fill the gap with grace. It's my choice! Right there I get to choose. And hopefully Caleb will experience something different in his dad - something that blesses his little heart. Becuase he deserves a patient, loving, grace-giving dad. It's not who I am yet but it's who I wan to be.

Blessings A.

S.O.A.P

SOAP stands for Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer. Google it and you will find some great resoureces to help you get thru the Bible in a year and grow closer to God at the same time. I've been using SOAP for a week now starting with Lamentations - not sure how that happened but anyway it has been fantastic. So I encourage you to get stuck into SOAP, the Word and your relationship with God. Blessings A.

Marriage Sermon

I heard a fantastic message last night on marriage. I will see if I can get the notes and post some key points here. Meanwhile lets work on better listening to our partners, more harmony in our homes and positive approaches to solving problems and conflict. Andrew.

Recipe for a great marriage

What's your top ten list of things you put in for a great and happy marriage? Communication, time out.... what things are important to you as a couple? How does this impact your role as a parent? What things do you find hardest to maintain? How can we keep our marriages a priority? Please leave some ideas and thoughts?

How will they turn out?

All this work as a parent is leading towards what? What are your goals, aims, purpose as a parent? What values and principles do you want your children to grow up with and how do you intend to plant those in their hearts so that these values become theirs?

So lets talk about some of the characteristics we want our children to exhibit by age 6, 12 and 18. Please leave your comment so we can share some ideas and learn from each other.

Parenting: A mixed bag of opportunities and emotions!

Being a parent really is a challenging and difficult thing. But at the same time it's a huge blessing. While we watch our kids exert their own will, listen to them say 'no' to us and sometimes say the same thing over and over and over again till we can no longer hear ourselves think, we also see them growing, starting to say 'I love you mummy' without prompting, giving big hugs and kisses and discovering what life is all about right before our very eyes. Parenting has so many amazing contrasts attached to it. As parents we can feel both overwhelmed and overjoyed all mixed up in the one bag of emotions. But we have this amazing opportunity to help shape our children's futures.

For you as a parent, what is difficult or challenging and what is wonderful or awesome about your journey in raising children? Please leave a comment so we can share some thoughts together.

Principle vs. Application

Biblical principles and application are not the same thing. God's principles are constant, never changing, they come from Scripture. But applying His principles can be based on personal experience, common wisdon, culture, tradition etc.... Both are important.

How do you apply the principles of the Bible? What's important to you as you decide how to implement the different goals you have?